


Coming Home

by rockfantasyfan



Category: Iron Maiden
Genre: #ironmaiden #brucedickinson #janickgers #nwobhm #male+male #heavymetal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockfantasyfan/pseuds/rockfantasyfan
Summary: When Bruce Dickinson returns to Iron Maiden after a six year absence he finds it harder than he anticipated to re-establish his closest relationship within the band





	Coming Home

COMING HOME

Nothing was the same. Granted, Bruce had only been back a short time and had been incredibly busy familiarizing himself with all the material he had missed, but there was just something different in the atmosphere, something he couldn't define. Something between himself and Jan. He thought they had remained close, at least as close as possible given their different schedules and obligations, and realistically he knew that it would be impossible to turn back time six years, but he had been hoping for their old camaraderie to just fall back into place. Instead he sensed a distance between them, something that he hadn't noticed on the occasions they had gotten together for a drink over the past few years. There was a world of difference between meeting for a few drinks every couple of months and being in constant contact, working together twenty four hour a day.

And now Steve had the idea of the entire band spending a few weeks at his villa in Faro to reconnect. Ordinarily Bruce would have been excited, eager to catch up with the others and share stories, but Steve also announced that he and Jan would have to share a room. The two of them had barely had time to exchange a dozen words since his return, and every time Bruce sought Jan out hoping to talk he found the blonde in Davey's company, laughing and joking. The pang Bruce felt went deeper than he had anticipated. It used to be him and Jan constantly together, practically joined at the hip. And with that thought, other memories came unbidden to Bruce's mind of he and Jan joined in a very different way, a much more intimate way, and he couldn't help but wonder if Davey had taken his place in that area as well.

There was nothing to be done, though. If he asked Steve if the sleeping arrangements could be rearranged so he could room with one of the other band members it would naturally lead to questions. Perhaps Steve even thought he was doing the two of them a favor. He knew how close they had been before Bruce's departure and he may have assumed they would be happy for an opportunity to spend more time together. Bruce brooded during the flight to Portugal, listening to Jan and Davey's laughter a few seats behind him while his own seat mate was a snoring Nicko. This entire return to the band was somewhat anticlimactic, Bruce reflected, staring out at the clouds. He and Ade had both been so excited to be back and Ade seemed to have slipped right back into his niche, but it seemed the media was more excited about Bruce's return than he was himself and he knew Janick's reaction was the main reason. Hell, Jan had even offered to leave when Ade returned, thinking three guitarists would be unnecessary. Steve managed to convince him to stay, but the fact he offered to leave just when Bruce was returning surprised and hurt the singer.

By the time they arrived at the villa Bruce was in a sour mood, merely grunting in response to anything said to him and sitting sullenly by himself as the others socialized over dinner and gathered for beers on the terrace afterwards. The other band members remembered his volatility well enough to give him his space and merely bid him goodnight when he announced he was turning in early, although Steve did give him a curious look. Bruce ignored it, trudging up to the bedroom Steve had pointed out at their arrival where his and Jan's bags had been deposited. He hadn't actually been in the room itself and when he entered and switched on the light he groaned in dismay. There was only one bed. A large bed, yes, but still he and Jan would have to share. That would have been absolutely ideal at one time but now, as strained as things were between them, Bruce was dreading it. Taking a quick shower and putting on a clean pair of boxers, Bruce climbed into bed, pulled the covers tightly around him as the room was quite cold, and eventually managed to fall asleep.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep when the movement of the mattress awakened him. He peeked out through his lashes to see Jan had come in and was sitting on the edge of the bed, undressing. The guitarist obviously thought Bruce was asleep, he was trying to be quiet though Bruce could tell from his exaggeratedly careful movements he wasn't exactly sober. Bruce was just about to try to go back to sleep when Jan pulled his shirt off over his head and he had to stifle a gasp at the exposed creamy white skin of his back and the way his honey gold hair draped over his shoulders. God, he hadn't changed a bit, if anything he was even more beautiful than Bruce remembered. He wondered if the skin was still as smooth, if the hair was still as sweet smelling and silky as when he used to bury his face in it while he and Jan......, Damn it! He had to stop thinking about that, he could already feel himself getting excited by the memories. He forced himself to close his eyes. He felt Jan slip under the covers on the other side of the bed and heard the lamp switch off. "Bruce? You awake, mate?" he heard Jan whisper. He didn't dare answer and Jan didn't speak again. He lay awake long after he heard Jan's slow, even breathing indicating he had fallen asleep.

The first thing Bruce noticed upon waking the next morning was that it was freezing in the room. He rolled over and found himself mere inches from a sleeping Jan who had apparently rolled toward him in his sleep. The sun was coming in through the balcony doors beyond the bed, illuminating Jan's hair like a halo and Bruce thought he had never seen anything so beautiful. Knowing he should find it creepy he nevertheless couldn't take his eyes away from Jan as he slept. How many mornings had he woke up just like this in bed with Jan, only in the past they had usually been completely nude and wrapped up tightly together in a tangle of arms and legs having fallen asleep after making love long into the night. Bruce felt his eyes mist over a little and mentally cursed himself for it. He had only himself to blame that things had changed. Jan had begged him not to leave the band but he had been so stubborn and headstrong, so convinced he would be happier once he had more artistic freedom. It wasn't until it was too late that he realized he wasn't happier because he no longer had Jan. He reached up and touched Jan's face so lightly the other's breathing didn't even change. "I never stopped loving you." he whispered. "I never will."

Jan was still asleep when Bruce dressed and made his way downstairs. Only Steve was up already, having coffee in a room overlooking the city.  
"Morning, Bruce." The bassist greeted him. "Feeling better today?"  
Bruce took a breath, trying to be his usual self. "Yeah, I'm fine. Guess I was just tired yesterday."  
"Well, we're here to relax, we've all been breaking our arses getting you and H back into the swing of things. No pressures while we're here, right?"  
Bruce helped himself from a breakfast buffet that had been laid out by Steve's housekeeper and took a seat opposite the other man. He ate some scones and sipped his coffee, looking out across the city through the windows behind where Steve say opposite him, then Steve spoke again.  
"Isn't Janick up yet?"  
Bruce shook his head. "No," he said shortly.  
"Hmmm.....well, I expect you two stayed up late. Just like old times, eh?" Steve winked, then before Bruce could respond Steve got up and left the room, saying he had some phone calls to make. 'What the hell did he mean by that?' Bruce wondered. Gradually the others woke and filtered downstairs and for most of the day the three guitarists gathered in a corner near a fireplace with their acoustics working on something while Bruce and Steve kicked some ideas around for a song they had started writing. Nicko simply parked himself on the couch with a book but seemed to be doing more snoozing than reading. Steve had to excuse himself every now and then to deal with business and after lunch he called the band together to go over the tentative plans for recording the next album scheduled for the next year. Before disbanding, however, he also announced that the heating system in the house, which had been having problems, had finally given up the ghost.  
"Most of the bedrooms have a fireplace," he told them, "so you should be all right until we can get repairs done. Jan and Bruce's room, however, has no fireplace and if you two find you're too cold tonight we can try to come up with someplace else for you to kip tomorrow.   
It was actually quite cozy after dinner. The six of them gathered by the big fireplace downstairs to have a few beers, play cards and visit together. Bruce had to admit that everyone, Janick included, was making a sincere effort to include him and the atmosphere felt almost as open and easy as though he had never been gone. Still, although Jan spoke to him as readily as he did to everyone else, Bruce sensed a subtle tension between them. He tried to quell it and convinced himself he was imagining it by the time the gathering broke up and everyone made their way upstairs to bed.  
"Fuck, it's freezing in here!" Bruce exclaimed when they entered their room. He went through the closets and drawers in hopes of finding additional blankets but there were none to be had.  
"We can go down and sleep in the lounge, it's quite warm down there." Jan suggested.  
"It shouldn't be bad once we get in bed, and for right now I'm going to take a hot shower." Bruce told him, heading into the bathroom. The steam from the shower actually seemed to raise the temperature a degree or two and when he re-emerged into the bedroom he saw that Jan was already in bed and had piled several of their jackets over the top of the duvet for additional warmth.  
"Maybe I should have dumped the contents of all our bags over the bed," Jan laughed as Bruce dived beneath the pile.  
"In the old days we'd have found more fun ways of staying warm." Bruce commented without thinking, then was immediately sorry he'd opened his mouth because Jan fell silent and a strange, almost sad expression crossed his face.  
"I'm....I'm sorry, mate. Shouldn't have said that. You know me, always have my foot in my mouth."  
Jan merely gave a ghost of a smile, still not meeting Bruce's gaze. "At least in the old days you wouldn't be avoiding me." the blonde finally said, his voice low and wistful.  
"Wait a minute," Bruce sat up and the piled bedding fell from him as he turned to face Jan, "you think I've been avoiding you?"  
"Haven't you been?" Jan faced him now and the hurt in his sky blue eyes was palpable.  
"No, of course not!" Bruce was incredulous.   
"We haven't been spending any time together." Jan pointed out. "It seems like we spent more time together before you came back. At least then you would call me up and we would go to the pub or out for a bite every few weeks."  
"I guess I thought this was the way you wanted it." Bruce confessed. "I tried to catch up with you a few times but it seemed you were always with Davey."  
"Dave's a good friend. He helped me through some rough times and I guess we did grow closer. That doesn't mean you have to treat me as though I have the plague!"  
"I'm sorry it seemed that way. And I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you through whatever rough times you were dealing with."  
Jan looked at Bruce in silence for a long moment and Bruce saw the emotion in his eyes. "You couldn't have helped with these rough times, Bruce," he finally said, his voice sounding as though it were close to breaking. "You were the cause of them."  
Bruce stared, not knowing what to say. All he could do was repeat that he was sorry. "I'm here now, Jan. Do you want to talk about it?"  
Jan turned away. "None of it really matters now, does it. It was years ago."  
Bruce put his hand on his friend's jaw and made him turn back to face him. "It does matter. Talk to me."  
Jan made no effort to hide the tears that leaked from his eyes. "I know you don't realize how I felt when you left, Bruce. How abandoned and alone I felt. Dave heard me crying one night when we had to share a hotel room and I ended up telling him all about it. All about us, about how.....how it was between us." He was crying openly now, his voice barely audible. "I told him how much I loved you, how much I'll always love you. You left me, Brucie. You broke my heart!"  
Bruce swallowed the lump in his throat, his heart felt as though it was going through a shredder upon hearing how much he had hurt the man he treasured above everyone else in his life. "I didn't know it was that bad, mate." he finally managed to choke out. "I had no idea....."  
Jan rubbed his fingertips over his damp cheeks. "I know you didn't."  
"But you didn't say anything, you even wished me well! And all the times we've hung out together since then, you've never told me any of this! You couldn't ....surely you don't think I left because I no longer cared for you!"  
Jan merely shrugged, and Bruce knew that meant that that was exactly what he had thought. Impulsively he reached out and gripped Jan's shoulders. "You mean more to me than anyone, Jan! I love you. I always have, I always will! I thought you knew that! Everything we've done over the past twenty years, everything we've shared, did you think I was only having a bit of fun?"  
"I never knew, Bruce, " Jan confessed, his voice small. "Not really, not for certain. Maybe it was just sex for you."  
"I told you how I felt about you, I told you after the first time we made love. It never changed, it just got stronger. Of course the sex was great, sex with you is the best I've ever had! But it was always so much more than that!"  
"Still, you left." Jan reminded him.  
Bruce leaned closer, still gripping his friend's shoulders, his voice low and intense. "It was something I felt I had to do, I had to get it out of my system. I don't regret leaving, but I regret hurting you. I would give anything.....anything....... if I could change that."  
The two men stayed inches apart, each searching for truths in the others eyes, then Bruce gave in to what had wanted ever since rejoining the band. He leaned down and touched his lips to Jan's. It was just a light touch but he felt Jan's lips tremble beneath his, then he felt Jan return the kiss. And as it had been since the moment he first saw Jan over twenty years before, he instantly wanted him. No one had ever had this effect on him except Jan, no one else could both fill his heart and strike such an explosion of desire in him.   
And it was the same for Janick. He reached up and put his arms around Bruce, drawing him closer, pulling him down until the singer was lying against him. Jan could readily feel Bruce's excitement through the fleece athletic pants he wore to bed and he pressed himself against him, hearing Bruce moan low in response.   
"I want you so much," Bruce murmured against the blonde's neck. "I always want you, I have wet dreams about you. Even dreams and memories of fucking you are better than anything else I've ever felt. I want it to be the way it always was, only this time I won't leave!"  
Jan was already gasping, breathless with the need for the other man that was flooding through him. "You had better....ah!..... you had better not. I won't let you get away so easily next time!" Bruce was biting and sucking the soft pale flesh of Janick's neck even as he felt the other man slipping his shirt over his head.   
"....be no next time, mate," Bruce mumbled, his lips busy finding Jan's nipple and smiling as he felt the guitarist's breath catch and his back arch beneath him, "I'd be mad to give you up again!"  
"Then fuck me, Brucie," Jan had trouble remembering how to speak as Bruce's mouth moved lower and lower, "and keep on fucking me until we've made up for the last six years!"

Bruce and Jan were the last ones down to breakfast the next morning.  
"Was it too cold for you two last night?" Harry asked as the two took their places at the table with their coffee.  
"We were fine, thanks," Bruce assured the bassist. He looked up to see Steve looking straight at Jan. Bruce followed his gaze and saw with shock there were several dark red bites visible on the white skin of Jan's neck. Oh, shit! He looked back at Steve, knowing there was nothing he could do as he had already seen the marks.  
A strange smile played across Steve's lips. "Right, then. It appears everything is back to normal."  
After the meal the group dispersed to pursue their separate projects, but Bruce approached Harry cautiously. He was afraid he had already jeopardized his return by making it so obvious he and Jan had fucked. Before he could say anything, though, the other man held up his hand, palm outwards.  
"I know what you're thinking, Bruce, but don't worry about it. I admit this was one of the reasons I was such an arse to you before you left. I knew what was going on, and I was terrified that word of it would leak out. But things are different now."  
Bruce was mystified. "Different?" was all he managed to say.  
Steve smiled, "Let's just say I have a different perspective on it now." He was looking past Bruce as he was speaking and Bruce turned to see what he was looking at. Steve's eyes were glued to the backside of Nicko McBrain as the drummer left the room.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~


End file.
